Friendship

Friendship is definitely something that I’ve blogged about before; and I am going to touch on it again. First I think it’s important to know that there are many types of friendships, and consequently I believe we are compatible with certain types.

Myself for example. I am quite a busy person, and when I am not busy I like to focus on my home life, my dog, and my relationship with my boyfriend. This means that I look for friends that are open and loving, and not to demanding.

I don’t necessarily have time for the type of friendships that require regular maintenance if you will. My life is always changing, and it just so happens that I move a lot and like to try new things. When I was younger I loved having friends that I’d see everyday, phone calls etc. But I was in school, I wasn’t working or trying to build a life with someone.

Now I like to get together occasionally for a meal, a day trip maybe the movies.

Don’t get me wrong: I absolutely love all my friends. But I don’t have time to maintain several friendships.

This can create some drams, which I also have to time or need for. The term ”ditch” for example. I do not feel as though I can ditch a friend, because I am an adult and that is not something that I care about nor do.

Just because you say to someone ”oh we’ll try and do something tomorrow, have a great night!” this does not create any sort of obligation or contract. There was no definite plan, time, or place. So if I don’t show up for this very vague occasion; I do not feel remorse or responsibility for certain parties feeling ”ditched”.

I am so sick of people telling me that I have changed, or that I am careless, or that I am fucking over my friends for a ”guy”. I am a relationship person. My boyfriend whom I have been dating for almost three years is my best friend. We share our life, we’re not dating, we are together. I don’t go out on the town with people and party it up. I spend time with my life partner, common-law husband if you will. We are compatible to the point where I don’t feel the need to ”hang out” in random locations with random people. Sure we have lots of friends that we enjoy together, but we don’t really do the ”I’ll hang out with my friends, you hang out with yours” thing.

*friendship evolves*

I think what I am learning is that; people you had everything in common with years ago, are not necessarily compatible with your friendship type anymore. You end up lingering in the past. People change, you can either change with them and enjoy each other while you grow and mature, or you can sit and sulk that your former besty has changed. Change is good, just because I haven’t changed how you’d hoped doesn’t make me bad, mean, inconsiderate or anything else, perhaps we are no longer compatible. But why cry over it? That’s life; we can remember all the fun years we did share and move on.

Anyway, I tried to keep this general but it’s getting a personal vibe he he.

In conclusion, I am an adult in an adult relationship and that’s what’s important to me. Respect it and enjoy my company or leave me be.